I don't remember the context at all but I woke up in your bed. I heard your voice and stayed completely still. It sounded like you were on the phone apologizing. For what? I lifted my head as he said bye and opened my eyes for the first time. I don't know why tears fell from my eyes. “Are you ok?” “I was going to ask you.” I didn't want to answer. I couldn't remember a thing. “No.” I hate how honest you make me. You came and sat next to me. I didn't notice until then I was in someone else's clothes. “What happened?” You didn't answer. Your lips moved but I couldn't hear anything from them. I blacked out and the dream went back to when I woke up. This time it was earlier and I could hear the call. “I don't know who she called but they weren't happy. I went ahead and took her home. The address is — —. I'm sorry, I should've said something sooner, I just-” “Thank you. I'll be there when I can.” It was my mom. I vaguely remember writing her number on my arm in case something happened. I didn't think I'd need it. “Riley?” I sat up. There wasn't any use pretending anymore. Tears ran down my face again. There was pain everywhere and no memory. I preoccupied myself with the cat curling up next to my side. “Are you ok?” I shrugged. “I don't remember a thing that happened…” I didn't hear it, but he explained everything. Apparently there was a party and it was worse than planned. I got my clothes back and changed before I got picked up. She wasn't mad, just scared. We didn't talk much since I didn't remember and you told her the most of it. I was in bed until that Monday. There was a skip that felt like a few weeks because it was just a dream. I came to school quiet. Right after practice I got a hold of her. “Was I with anyone that night?” She stayed silent for a bit then hesitantly answered. “You were with me and him most of the time but I saw you walk off with —... Why?” I didn't have time to answer. Neither of those options had any hope. One of them hated me and one of them was you. I checked the scary one first. He was surprisingly nice. All he did was lead me out of one of the dumb groups that only went to the party for drugs. He asked if I was ok and I just kinda shrugged. “I'm just overthinking. Thank you.” We have a weird relationship. There was a bit of fear when I was looking for you. I couldn't find you so I waited. I needed more than 5 minutes so I waited until the end of the day. I pulled you aside in a practice room to talk. I was shaking and you could tell. “Who was I with?” It took you a minute to answer. “Why?” And you didn't even answer. I tried not to get mad, it's not like you didn't have a reason to avoid it. I hadn't actually said it out loud to anyone. I heard it, I saw it, but never shared. I pulled out the paper from the doctor's office that I meant to turn into the school. You were the only one outside of the family to see it. Everything hit all at once. There was a long moment of quiet before a skip of time. I don't know if it was before or after, but I showed the directors that same form. Ms. Cummons asked if I needed help with anything and that they're always there but I wouldn't be able to participate as much due to my health. I knew I didn't need to tell them anything other than I can't continue. I just needed to tell them because they were family. That's what I thought with you. I didn't know it was you that I was with until the next day you called me panicking. I didn't say anything. I waited for you to finish. “It's ok. I'm glad I know you.” I ended up going online for school but you still called often. I knew the family was mad on some level about the situation. It was easier than I thought though. About a month later it was Christmas break and you had time to come over. My family loved you for numerous reasons but really it was the reaction when you saw me. I was bigger, not by much but enough to notice, but you weren't scared. You kind of poked fun at me like nothing happened. We all talked it out until you said the scariest words. “I haven't talked to my mom yet.” We all kind of looked at each other and eventually we were sent away since we were just the kids. We wouldn't ever fall in love but I felt better that it was you. I even dreamed in my dream about a future. There were flashes but nothing else I remember distinctly. It just replayed over and over to drill into my brain and I won't let it. I do remember the sunset and walking on the railroad tracks with you and a small hand in mine.
Dreams often reflect our subconscious thoughts, feelings, and experiences. The dream you described seems to encompass themes of vulnerability, loss of control, connection, and the search for understanding and reassurance in a chaotic situation. Here are some interpretations of key elements in your dream:
Waking Up in Someone Else’s Bed: This could symbolize feelings of disorientation or a lack of control in your life. It may represent a situation where you feel out of your depth or caught off guard. The fact that it is someone else's bed might suggest that you're navigating unfamiliar emotional territory or experiences.
Hearing Apologies and Feeling Emotional: The presence of apologetic communication indicates healing or reconciliation. You may have unresolved issues in your relationships that you're subconsciously trying to process. The tears could symbolize a release of pent-up emotions or the recognition of pain that you are struggling to articulate.
Memory Loss and Confusion: The inability to remember what happened suggests feelings of being overwhelmed or impacted by events beyond your control. It might represent anxieties about your past, particularly in social situations or relationships, and a fear of confronting those memories.
Seeking Clarity from Others: The dialogue and your interactions with friends indicate a desire for connection and reassurance. You are looking for understanding and support in the aftermath of something disconcerting. This longing could point to a deeper need for trust and communication with those around you.
The Presence of Family: Your mother’s involvement and the care she expresses reflect the importance of familial bonds and a desire for safety and support during times of emotional turmoil. It may also indicate a fear of disappointing your family or a wish to maintain close relationships despite challenging circumstances.
Encountering Caring Figures: The interactions with friends—and the contrasting dynamics of the people you were with—illustrate your journey of figuring out who truly supports you. This part of the dream highlights themes of friendship, concern for your well-being, and varying emotional responses among those close to you.
Reflection on Health and Self-Acceptance: The mention of sharing your health status and feelings about your body signifies a struggle with self-image and acceptance. Engaging with the doctors and eventually sharing that with significant people in your life suggests a gradual process of confronting your fears and vulnerabilities.
Vision of a Future: The dream’s ending with hopeful imagery of walking hand-in-hand illustrates a desire for companionship, support, and a sense of peace moving forward. This could signify a longing for stability or a hopeful outlook on your relationships and personal growth.
Overall, this dream reflects an intricate weave of emotions—confusion, fear, yearning for connection, and a path toward healing. It may be beneficial to consider what situations in your waking life are mirroring these themes, allowing you to work through any unresolved feelings you may have.